The cultures between our China and America are distinguished by a rather large scale. Such as the opinions and ways of thinking. For the marriage and family part, China and America have many cultural differences.
Firstly, let me show you a little case：
Dr.Gilpal is an American who teaches English in a Chinese university. And professor Wang, who is a Chinese. He needed a native speaker to do some proofreading for his two books were to be published. And Dr.Gilpal said that he would be very glad if he could do the job.Dr.Gilpal and his wife, each of them took a copy of the drafts. When the publisher asked for the name of the proofreader, Wang told the publisher which was done by Dr.Gilpal and which was done by Mrs.Gilpal.But,when the two books were out of print,Dr.Gilpal’s name was on both of the covers of the two books .When Mrs Gilpal knew about it, she got very angry, she said to professor Wang “Mr Gilpal is Mr Gilpal ,Mrs Gilpal is Mrs Gilpal!”
——Why the publisher printed Dr.Gilpal’s name on both books ?
——.Mrs Gilpal and Mr Gilpal are couples. Wang had apologized to her, why she still got angry? Are the relationship between her and Mr Gilpal not good? Or are there some other reasons？
The answer to these questions are something about the cultural differences. For question 1, the publisher thought Mr Gilpal was a doctor, so using his name had
Look for spouse——dating advertisement
When American look for spouse, they emphasize on religions, hobby and characteristic. Dating advertisement is none of their parents’ business. It’s only their personal affair. Common people or prince, We can’t recognize
I love you
As all we know, Chinese are implicit, so they are not accustomed to kiss in public and the Chinese only kiss their spouse and little children. Even more, the couples will not kiss at their children’s present. Compared with the Chinese, the Americans are open in mind .They kiss their friends, relations, parents and even the strangers when they greet.
Chinese wedding is buzzing with excited and it is usually hold in the big restaurant. American wedding is compound and kind and it’s always hold in the church. Chinese wedding usually last a long period of time, but the American wedding will last only 40 minutes
In China, the wedding cost is usually paid by the husband’s family. In Chinese opinion, if the girl gets married, she is the member of her husband’s family and at the same time, she no longer belongs to her parents’ family. It is just like a Chinese proverb said “嫁出去的女儿，泼出去的水。”However, for the Americans , wedding is just their personal affair, parents will not pay the wedding cost for them. And there is a strange convention, in America, the wedding cost is usually paid by the wife.
Husband and wife
The Chinese couples usually mix their property, house, self space .when a Chinese woman goes shopping, if she find a shirt or watch that is very suit for her husband, she will buy it for her husband. But in America, the wife will not do this. And in Chinese family, it is transparent between the husband and wife .The Chinese will not conceal something to their spouse.
In America, the couples will make property acknowledgement before they get married. When they pay something, the America couples usually pay fifty –fifty .And they have their own mailbox, without the other’s allowance, the husband or wife can’t read his or her spouse’s letters. In comparison with Chinese family, American couples have more independence from each other.
Different cultures add the most colorful element to the world of 21st century. The cultural gap should not be the obstacle to the civilization of human being. It ought to be the motivation of our going farther. When doing cross-cultural communication we will face many cultural collisions and frictions. we should think globally by acting locally and learn more about the different culture to do a better communication.
邓光昌 language and culture 外语教学研究出版社 1989
JANE.SUNE Chinese knot and American dream ,